Oh the Plots You Will Throw
by Black Licorice Addict
Summary: Just an odd assortment of thoughts and prompts that never made it into fully fledged stories. Chapters are simple snippets and word vomitus that will follow a variety of characters. Please enjoy at your leisure.
1. Sick Artemis

**A/N: This is probably the closest thing to Traught I will ever write. Was eventually supposed to be Artemis/Team with a bit of Spitfire.**

**Disclaimer: CN owns the rights.**

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All those years away in prison must have taken a toll on Paula's maternal instincts. That, or Artemis had miraculously gotten better at lying. In the archer's defense, she had a serious pre-calculus test of doom that would not wait even for a superheroine with a case of walking pneumonia.

She didn't know quite how she slogged her way through Gotham's March sleet all the way to the bus stop. Her focus was a bit foggy, taking only snippets of her surroundings: a woman gossiping too loudly on the phone, a giggling baby in the corner, the blur of the street outside in the torrential downpour. And she honestly couldn't tell you through the sludge of exhaustion and infection hampering her mental capabilities how on earth she ended up outside the telephone booth zeta tube.

Artemis vaguely recalled a worried voice sounding like Robin's, asking her, "Isn't it the wrong time of day to be visiting cousins? Really, Artemis?"

"She's…mnnn favorite," Artemis slurred out before collapsing against the structure, never realizing that she was still wearing her Academy uniform.


	2. Artemis Is Hot

**A/N:** **This started out as a random idea at the very beginning of season 2...like the VERY beginning. Spitfire nonsense.**

**Disclaimer: CN owns the rights :/**

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"She's such a babe," Blue Beetle sighed dreamily, leaning on the barstool, watching Artemis talk to Wally in the living room, her hands poised on her hips, her features contorted into a look of displeasure.

Nightwing glanced up briefly from his sandwich. "She's taken," he informed his friend.

"Wait, so are they together?" Lagoon Boy gestured to the duo as he and Blue Beetle watched the resident speedster and archer hashing out a disagreement none too discretely.

Dick sighed, rubbed his temples, and replied, "Most days. But I'd advise leaving before they remember." And with that recommendation, their leader exited the room.

"Why would we need to go—OH GOSH! MY LUNCH!" Lagoon Boy made gagging noises as Blue Beetle felt himself trying to suppress his vomiting reflex.

It was quite apparent that the couple had forgiven each other and were now displaying their affection in a rather blatant manner, not realizing their kissing fest was making their teammates sick to their stomachs. And honestly, they probably couldn't have cared less even if they did know.

"Wait for us, Nightwing!" Blue Beetle called.


	3. Jaime Has Control Issues

**A/N: This was typed out to potentially be inserted into another story, but I never used it... Cassie/Jaime nonsense. Written post-Before the Dawn**

**Disclaimer: CN owns the rights :/**

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She didn't know if he was in control or not-the white opacity obscuring his eyes led her to believe he wasn't. And a small part of her was frightened by it.

How did she know-how did ANY of them know whether or not he wouldn't go completely AWOL and take them all out in the process? Bart was the only one that seemed to have a thread of conviction that he would never betray them, would never turn evil.

But Cassie could sense the scarab's eyes on her, analyzing her threat level, itching to simply wipe her off the face of the earth with the plasma canon.

Her suspicions were confirmed when Jaime would clutch his hand and point it away from her, away from his friends, and would often accompany such an action with a vehement "NO!"

He was always so very close to that edge, that breaking point between control and chaos, between life and destruction. Close enough to send ice through her veins and simultaneously cause her heart to race.

And sometimes she wondered just how much she would have to push him to send them both over the edge. And the thrill-seeker within was tempted, oh so very tempted, to try her luck.

But something held her back, especially after their most recent encounter with Blue Beetle's villainous counterpart. Because Jaime, her friend, her comrade in arms, her couch fort compadre and favorite snowball war tag-teamer, was not home. And she wasn't sure she could handle the shell of Jaime pointing a gun at her, waiting for her to inhale her last.

"Do it." It was all she heard in a faint dream once upon a time. But when she awoke, it wasn't her friend saving them.


	4. Jade Gets Roy's Attention

**A/N: This was inspired by an Asofterworld post. Jade/Roy**

**Disclaimer: CN owns the rights :/**

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The robberies were seemingly interconnected at first. But when she robbed a hospital followed by a lumber mill, Red Arrow was starting to believe she was just purposely trying to catch his attention.

He was all but convinced when he managed to capture her in the process of detonating a buoy in the harbor with enough firepower to blow up a bridge. Catching her was never THIS easy.

"How long do you think _that's_ going to hold me?" she purred in a low tone, eyes traveling down the dark costume of the man hovering above her as he attempted to slap a pair of cuffs on her pinned wrists.

Grudgingly, he realized she was right. There wasn't a prison, pair of handcuffs, iron-wrought cell, or pair of arms that could hold her forever, or even long enough for him to try to talk some sense into her.

"Why are you doing this, Jade? What the hell is going through your head? Because I'm sick of playing your games!" he yelled, getting up in her face which, in retrospect, may not have been the wisest idea. She took full advantage of his proximity and planted a hard kiss on his mouth.

"I just want to bewilder the hell out of people," she breathed against his mouth, still formed in a perfect 'o' of surprise. "Because that's what being in love does to you."

When she met his lips again, there was no resistance. Because he knew she was right. It might take them in a downward spiral. It might make everything wrong in the right way. But maybe, just maybe, he should let love make him a little more irrational too.


	5. My Muse Is Bitten by the Wonderbeetle

**A/N: This is what happens when the Jaime/Cassie bug puts my muse on mode. Just little scenes of fluff. **

**Disclaimer: CN owns the rights :/**

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Bart flipped through the pages of the magazine, releasing an annoyed sigh as he tossed it into the growing pile at his feet. The speedster glared at the couple sitting on the couch opposite him, clearly engrossed in their respective books.

Cassie's back leaned into Jaime's left side, a look of contentment washed over her façade as she thumbed another page aside. Jaime seemed to glance over at her more than he read his book. Neither one seemed aware that Bart was bored out of his mind.

The redhead let out an exasperated groan and threw his hands up in the air. "You two are the most boring couple. _Ever._" He stood up and marched toward the zeta tubes. "I'm going to go find Tim or Gar or _someone_ who knows how to have a good time!"

Their eyes followed his movements, watching as his molecules dissipated somewhere far, far away.

"_Finally,"_ Jaime mumbled, dropping his book immediately and pulling Cassie into his lap, her lips eagerly meeting his in a frantic kiss blazing with arduous energy that had been pent up all afternoon.

"I…don't care…what Bart says…" she laughed between kisses, wrapping her arms more fully around Jaime's neck. "We know…how to have…the best time…ever."

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He watched the silvery tendrils flow from her mouth and wrap around her hands, clenched around each other. The hot breaths weren't enough to keep her fingers from turning purple.

"Here," Jaime walked up next to her, yanking a glove off one of his hands with his teeth.

Cassie saw what he was trying to do and began to protest. "No Jaime, it's okay, really. I don't want your hands to get cold too."

"Don't worry about it, Cass. I—"

"No—"

"Tell you what," he tugged the glove completely off, "We'll compromise." He pulled the glove over her right hand. It was a bit large, but Cassie savored the warmth that was permeating her fingers.

She didn't know what the compromise was supposed to be, so it came as a surprise when he slid his right hand into her left.

"There. Now we each have a glove, and we can keep our other hands warm this way."

She was certain the red hue flooding her cheeks matched his, but the moment was too perfect to give in to awkwardness, so she smiled brightly at him. "Best compromise ever."

Turning back to their group, which was now a sizeable distance ahead, Cassie tugged his arm along, relishing in the pleasant warmth of his bare hand and how it tightened slightly when they walked. Their arms swung subconsciously as their fingers laced together.

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_Jaime! Jaime Reyes!_

The scarab's voice jolted Jaime's consciousness, causing his eyes to snap open almost immediately. His arms flailed in the deep blue water, like wooden puppets without strings. He quickly scanned his surroundings, looking for any of his teammates that were late like him in escaping the explosion.

There, not ten yards to the side, was Wonder Girl, her hair floating in exotic tendrils as the currents swirled around her. She was frantically searching the area even as her legs propelled her upward.

Jaime urged the suit forward as quickly as possible, watching as a large stream of bubbles trailed out of her partially open lips at her surprise in seeing him. Jaime grabbed her arm, pulling her up after him. Glancing down, he noticed her eyes were becoming glassy, her movements sluggish.

Acting almost on instinct, Blue Beetle pulled her up to eyelevel and delivered a breath of oxygen.

Wonder Girl's eyes shot open, surprised. Jaime, relieved that she had revived, made to pull away only to be yanked back, her mouth demanding another breath.

He complied. Again, and again, and again.

Eventually she leaned back and nodded, kicking her feet towards the surface. Jaime pulled her close, firing his jet pack until they burst forth from the waves and into the sky.

Their teammates later wondered why Jaime had looked out of breath, not Cassie.


	6. Anons Demand Wonderbeetle Smut

**A/N: I got a request on Tumblr that went something like "Wonderbeetle smut pleaseeeeee? :'D" This baffles me as I cannot write that sort of thing to save myself. But I tried. And this is what happened. Mature themes ahead...**

******Disclaimer: CN owns the rights.**

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She released a breathy gasp, feeling the cold metal from the band on his ring finger brush down her spine. The blonde curled in closer, placing several small kisses onto his collarbone, his neck, the underside of his jaw, finally meeting his lips.

Cassie smiled into the kiss as she heard the rumble of male satisfaction reverberating at the back of his throat-not quite a purr, but he was warm and content, like a cat.

_Make that a chupacabra, _she thought as he flipped her over, having enough of her teasing in the lazy morning hours and demanding more.

And she was happy to oblige, hooking a toned leg around the back of one of his and pulling him down flush to her.

Jaime laughed outright, pulling his lips from between her teeth. "Had to have the last word, didn't you?" He murmured across her lips, his breath ghosting across, reminding her that there was still distance between them.

"Shut up," she retorted, reaching one had behind his head, locking fingers into his dark hair and pulling his mouth to hers again.

Cassie could still feel him chuckling, his toned abdomen transferring the staccato vibrations through her stomach. She was about to flip him back over, but—_Athena,_ he was doing that thing with his tongue again, like he was rolling his _r'_s against the roof of her mouth.

She let out a noise halfway between a contented groan and a whine, because that just wasn't fair at all.

His warm hand traveled down her side, tracing ciphers lower and lower-

A baby cry in the next room brought the pair crashing back to reality.

"Mmmm…I've got this, _bonita,_" he told Cassie, giving her one last searing kiss before climbing off the bed, picking up his discarded pajama bottoms from the hardwood floor and hastily pulling them on before heading to the nursery.

Cassie sighed dreamily as she watched the muscles in his shoulders and down his back ripple from his haphazard movements, like one in a drunken state and not completely coordinated.

She closed her blue eyes momentarily, picking up his rich baritone voice singing soothing nonsense to their toddler through the open door. Her eyelids fluttered open again, glancing at her left hand resting on his pillow. Two sparkling bands glittered back at her, winking brilliantly despite the low light.

Cassie wondered how on earth she had gotten so lucky.


	7. Spitfire: Love me, paint me

**For a prompt exercise on Tumblr. Wally/Artemis: Love me and Paint me requested by Anonymous.**

**Disclaimer: Do not own.**

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Wally, true to his word, had attended ALL her classes during her "death" and took detailed notes that surprised even her.

Between his short attention span and predisposition to fall asleep in any sort of literature class, it was astonishing not only that he made the effort to tidy his handwriting up a bit, but that he used post-its and other colorful means of highlighting important topics and discussions.

She swore she loved that boy.

Thumbing through a particularly dull day, Artemis spotted several doodles in the margins of the notebook. Arrows that matched her uniform. Tendrils and swirls that wove behind faceless heads. A sharply accented eye with the iris lightly colored gray from his dull pencil.

She flipped though the notes, each drawing become more and more elaborate, more intricate. He wasn't half bad.

A page fell out of the bottom, not bound to the ringed binder. Artemis bent down to pick it up, her eyes fixated on the blended lines. It was how she imagined she looked to someone who found her pretty. More than pretty-she was beautiful, her features soft and happy, full lips in a half smile that reached all the way to her eyes.

"Hey babe?" She quiered, walking toward the kitchen.

"Yeah?" Wally brought his head out of the fridge, eyes widening slightly at her expression.

"Do we have any extra frames lying around?"


	8. DickBabs: Zip me

**Prompt: "Zip Me" requested by Anonymous on Tumblr.**

**Disclaimer: Do not own.**

For the record, I really wish it was "unzip me" because so many things come to mind…

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This broken wrist couldn't have come at a more inopportune time. It was summer, which meant there were galas and events every other weekend that often required her presence or her father's. Or both.

Unfortunately, the Commissioner had been working late on a case the past several nights, leaving her to fend for herself when it came to the tricky zippers on the backs of her little black dresses.

And she had the misfortune of choosing the black dress with the most unreachable zipper of them all. Even with her gymnast agility, the red head was having difficulty using only one arm to pull the piece of metal up.

"Need a hand?" came an amused voice by her window sill. There, in all his tuxedo glory, was Dick shamelessly grinning at her predicament.

"Can't you use the lobby elevator like a normal person for once," she seethed, turning around to hide the rouge coloring blooming across her cheeks.

"Your doorman's too scary," he laughed, no longer able to keep the mirth from bubbling through.

"Shut up and help me already," she groused, abandoning the task and crossing her arms. The harsh plaster of the cast grated into her skin.

His hands came to rest deliberately low at the base of her back. Slowly, with measured movements, she felt the pieces of fabric come together, ending at the dip between her shoulder blades.

Dick's hands were still on her back, his words ghosting over the bare flesh on her neck.

"Better?"

This could go so many ways, but Barbara knew none of them would end productively. Still, it couldn't hurt to play along…

"Much," she replied, meeting his gaze over her shoulder with a smoldering look of her own. "But I could use a hand—" she plopped down on the chair and tossed him a stiletto— "with my shoes. Be a dear?"


	9. DickBabs: quiet me

**Prompt for Tumblr was angsty Dick/Babs quiet me requested by Anonymous.**

**Disclaimer: Do not own.**

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"Oh God, oh God, oh God," he heard her whimper, hands hovering above the wound in his left quadricep. Nightwing couldn't understand why she was so distraught when he was the one that had been shot.

Then again, he couldn't really understand much of anything after she administered the painkiller. Seriously, had she even _read_ the dosage label? And why on earth did Batman entrust _her_ with opioid level drugs in her utility belt and not _him_?

"Mmmm…get traught, Barb," he mumbled, sluggishly moving his arms toward his belt in hopes of pulling out a turnikate.

"What are you doing?" Batgirl demanded, pushing his arms back down. "Stay still. Team's ETA is five minutes."

"Put…pressure," he grabbed one of her hands and brought it to cover the wound. "S'better."

She sighed, "I'm so sorry, Dick. I can't-"

"Pfffft. It barely grazed me," he attempted to chuckle, but it jostled his leg too much, causing him to hiss in pain.

"I think you're delirious, boy blunder," she mumbled, reaching with her other hand to pull a length of rope out of her utility belt to wrap above the gunshot hole.

Her hands were shaking from the leftover adrenaline and the fear that the wound was more serious than it appeared. Knots should not be this difficult to tie.

Two larger gloved hands came to wrap around hers. "Calm down, Barbara. 'S gonna be okay. Stay whelmed. Team's on their way."

"I don't think you un-"

He pressed a finger to her lips, albeit clumsily as the meds were further snaking tendrils into his consciousness. "Hey, it's what we do."


	10. Spitfire: Kill Me

**Tumblr prompt was "Spitfire kill me" requested by Anonymous**

**Disclaimer: Do not own.**

Bangs head against wall while stabbing abdomen and allowing entrails to leak out of the gaping wound as I jump off a cliff into a sea of lava sharks.

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"Miss me, babe?" she cooed, just an octave lower than what Deathstroke could hear. He dodged another roundhouse kick to his abdomen, pulling her leg and throwing her to the ground.

"I'm really, _really_ not happy about this," he muttered, dropping his guard much further than had she been an actual villain.

"For the record," Tigress pulled out the specially-modified knife and thrusted it into his stomach, "neither am I."

She aimed it perfectly, and soon his uniform was soaked through with the synthetic blood.

He coughed and sputtered dramatically, biting down on the pill that would send his body into a death-imitating sleep. Tigress yanked the knife out, making a show of cleaning it on his mussed uniform before turning around and walking back toward Deathstroke.

But she could have sworn she heard Wally breathe, "Good luck, beautiful," before succumbing to sleep.


End file.
